On Monday, we worked on our workbooks during the morning, had lunch and work duties, then headed to the beach and downtown Byron Bay. I laid on the beach and continued working in the workbook because we had 3 sections to finish and I hadn’t started until earlier in the morning. It was not too productive, seeing as there was a beach behind me beckoning that I come. I really enjoy Byron Bay beaches the best out of the 3 I’ve experienced so far. (I don’t remember if I wrote about my time last weekend at a beach near the Gold Coast, it was fun, but definitely had intense waves. I don’t know what the actual beach was called.) Monday night we had dinner and then more hang-out or workbook time, so you can guess what filled my evening.....
Tuesday was a very chill day. It started out with Intercession and Worship as normal, and during that time one of our staff handed me a sealed envelope and told me to open it after Int./Worship. I continued to worship, we then were instructed by some fellow students to break up into our outreach groups to pray and discuss the strengths we thought each of us brought to the group. As we were ending I noticed the absence of staff in the room. I then opened the envelope and read, “Please read aloud for everyone”- “WELCOME TO NO STAFF DAY”.... with a list of particulars. They gave us $82.50 to spend on food and whatever else we might need. It also said to be productive and some other things we had to follow. I don’t remember exactly, but basically we had a day to relax and just make sure work duties were done and making meals for ourselves. At first, there was some chaos about who was going to do work duties because they took our work duty sheet that already had it planned out, but most of us already knew what we were on that day. Our meals turned out really well actually, about 6 ppl volunteered to do the shopping and they split themselves and the money up for lunch and dinner.
I think the staff wanted us to learn some profound lesson from it, but honestly being that I’m 27, it really wasn’t that big of a deal. It’s not like we couldn’t function as a group, I mean sure, at the very beginning I observed some people wanting to take control and “lead,” but in the end we didn’t have any huge specific task to achieve, so it wasn’t an issue.
Though we didn’t do anything particularly productive as a team, it was a day we all needed. I finished our DTS tshirts, chatted with people, and rested. Throughout the day I reflected a lot on leadership... specifically my transition from leader to student and then that day where I felt a bit empowered by being given the envelope to read.
During the time I led the youth, I grew a TON... starting out, I was very insecure. All I could remember was how much I LOVED my first small group leader and the impact she made on me. I wanted to be that to my small group girls, to show God’s love through me, but in the beginning I tried way too hard. My first few years were some of the hardest and I almost threw in the towel. I was persuaded to continue, and started back with a new fresh group of 7th graders. During the 6 years that followed, I went on a journey... through leadership, but of course just through life, which in turn affected the way I led. I learned that it wasn’t always what I said that mattered, but being present and available to listen and pray is what meant the most. I finished leading last spring with a confidence that I couldn’t have spoken of 9 years previous. It was a hard thing to leave, but my time of leadership was coming to a close.
Going back to being a student here was(is) hard, while talking to a good friend here who is also a bit older than the rest(25), we laughed about how we sometimes catch ourselves acting un-characteristically immature. It’s a strange phenomenon, but I think has some to do with the fact that I have no responsibility to anything besides me, my own personal space, and my work duty(which, lets face it, is a pretty simple thing for me). To not have anything outside of myself to be responsible for is a bit debilitating. At first, I had a hard time knowing where my place was, but time and again I was reminded that my time here is to be a student. Another reason for the struggle is that the last time I was a student, I was in high school. Being a student as an adult is different, not to mention the age of most students here is between 18-21. These girls (and a few guys) still struggle deeply with their identity and comparing, etc. It was a bit of a “culture” shock for my system because though I do have my own issues with comparing, they are not on the same level as the freshly graduated from high school girls.
So, all of that to say, I struggled with the fact that I had just come from a pretty confident place of leadership, to this new world of being a student amongst these majority of freshly graduated students and no "stated" place of authority or leadership. I'm having a hard time explaining myself, but think my point about saying all of this, was that on Tuesday, I had a small taste of the leadership aspect again.
This post is getting rather long, and we have a busy week before heading to outreach. So, I'm going to wrap up the rest of the week very quickly. On Wed. we had lectures both morning and afternoon, and in the evening we went into town and had coffee with our small groups(well, some of us did). It was a nice, relaxing time to just hang out and chat. Thursday, we had lectures in the morning and team building activities at the beach... this was awesome... especially because THE CZECH team won!!! Woo Hoo... and I must add that we are all female (besides one of the leaders)- so it was pretty sweet!
Friday morning was an early one, as we were ready to go to the Lighthouse for worship at 7:30am. It's so beautiful there, although it was raining when we first arrived it stopped by the time we were done. This was great because then we all walked down the path to the beach where we had the baptism service.
It was pretty informal, really, so to say "service" sounds a bit funny. We all gathered in a circled cluster and listened for a few minutes to Gunny talk about baptism. When he was finished each of us getting baptized shared a bit of why we made our decision. Gunnleik then prayed and one by one (there were three of us), we went into the water and "got dunked" (as I like to call it). I really don't know what I was "expecting," but when people asked me how I "felt" I couldn't really respond. It wasn't like there were fireworks or butterflies or anything, and really I don't think it mattered. It was a statement and act of my faith being put into action and a declaration in the physical and spiritual realm. After the three of us all came back out, we stood in different spots and people prayed over us. That was the most impacting time for me, just sealing it all in prayer.
Thank you all for your continued prayers as outreach creeps closer. The next two days we have outreach simulation where they take you through many ridiculous scenarios to prepare you while travelling. (saying ridiculous, knowing that it's not at all far from reality)...
It should be a good time.
Also, if you think of it... the school needs prayer for finances to come in. The total for our school that is needed is $59,000... i think Australian, but still, that's a lot of money. Not more than God can provide though, so if you think of it send out a prayer. And if for some reason, God lays it on your heart to give, email me as soon as possible. I personally have my lecture and outreach fees paid. But, I did miscalculate and didn't leave much room for money to use for things like toothpaste, shampoo, etc. I am using money of my own, but if you feel led to give extra, please let me know. Or, if you attend Open Door, you can fill out a blue card at the missions table put it in an envelope and drop it in the box. (just make sure you fill out my name on the blue card) I strongly hesitated writing this last bit, so please know it comes from a place of humility to ask.
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