Dinner Crew???

A few days have passed since I really wrote anything about what I've been doing. It's really hard sometimes to know what to share. But, first I'll explain my post title.

Two days ago we had to write down on a slip of paper what work duties we preferred, a first choice and second choice. They listed them all on a white board and described a little about each. One of the choices was Web Design/Graphics, and when describing mostly said it would be video and photo editing and re-touching and then sometimes some print materials or the base. Perfect! There are no other graphic designers, only an interior designer and a photographer (who self-proclaimed has a lot to learn about photoshop). Later that day before a group time we were given a slip of paper saying the duty we were on and before they were given out apologies were made to those who didn't get their first choice. I was so confident that I would get my first choice, there was even a space to say why you would be a good candidate and I put down my credentials accordingly, but to my surprise I read on the slip Dinner Kitchen Duty. ----blank stare---- "You're kidding me, really? WHO else would get the graphics work duty.. did someone hear me say that the graphics work duty wasn't even work?" I didn't say that out loud, but I was really upset... I couldn't understand why I wouldn't be atleast ONE of the TWO picked. Instead the photographer and the Interior Designer were picked.
Okay God... what are you doing here??? I shouldn't be upset, should I? I mean honestly I was looking for a break from the computer in the beginning, but when it came down to actually having the opportunity again, I was excited. Excited to do something a little different than what I usually do at work. So, as you can see, it is still fresh, especially since I just finished getting the "orientation" for Dinner Work Duty.

The reason why it is so hard to take is because I feel like I'm the one that is most experienced, and that they must think I don't know much. The truth is that they don't know and it really is nothing personal, it was their ignorance. But it just feels like this low blow, and I don't know even how to ask the other to girls who got the duty if there would ever be an opportunity to get in on something. (since there work time would be different than mine anyways) It's still so raw for me, I don't want anything to come out sarcastically, it's not there fault I wasn't picked... well... for the most part.

Enough of my complaining... sorry.. I don't mean to have a "throw-up" blog. :)

Other good things.....
I was having quiet time yesterday and along with confessing my sadness about the above topic, I also just realized I hadn't had many deep conversations or even been truly embraced by anyone yet. As I wrote to a couple people, it sounds really wierd or goofy to write about, but seriously it's a big deal. One of my old youth leaders used to say that you need 8 hugs a day to survive... well, as much as that would be great I'm usually okay with one a day or so... BUT, when you don't have any in a whole week you notice it. I was praying that God would break whatever barrier was up inside everyone.
So here comes the cool part.... later in the day I was helping a girl named Hannah take some "rubish" to the big bins out back. On the way back we stopped by this picinic table and began to chat. We started talking about the church in general and how for so many it's the same format all of the time: worship, announcements, offering, message... or some sort of combination. Also, that often is the case that you are looked down upon if there are stretches in life when getting to "church" hasn't been a priority... but what isn't noticed is that there may be fellowship or "church" going on in another way in your life. The conversation ebbed and flowed from different topics like that and eventually we started talking about meeting people in new situations, etc. and how natural it is to judge people on their outward actions or appearance. Hannah is appearingly and inwardly a "free-spirit"... I love it, she reminds me a bit of a girl named Karina who just graduated in the youth group. I told her about my weird hug topic and she said, "Okay, then I'll jump up on your bed every morning and give you a hug. That's not necessarily what I meant, but I assure you, she did that this morning and it made me laugh. It was a little earlier than I would have liked. :) But when are you going to complain about a hug, right? :D

I'll talk more about the church I attended sunday night in the next couple of days. I am trying to figure out a balance in writing in the blog and spending time with God and all that. I think that I may try to only use the internet two days a week or so.